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About Varied / Hobbyist JackieFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Golsti Icon :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 Golsti - Miniature :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 LeBlanc Icon :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 Simple Bubbles Background :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 2 2 Elby and Max WIP :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 Pixie Dust :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 1 2 Bikini Rat :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 1 1 Pimp Lizard :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 Teddy :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 2 Is That a Cat? :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 0 0 Azul 2 :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 1 2 Portrait of Azul :iconlbthecc:LBtheCC 1 5

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deviantID

LBtheCC
Jackie
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
There isn't much to say here...

I'm an odd chick, I have many interests, I like chasing ideas and stories. The rest is details :)
Interests

Well, I've determined that my major problem with finishing anything at all, period, is that I lack stamina to complete things. It doesn't matter if I love the thing. Doesn't matter if it makes me happy. It simply doesn't matter. I just don't have that kind of stamina.

If it's not a short story, I don't finish reading it anymore. I can't commit to novel length books anymore. I lose interest, and flit to the next thing. For shame. Even if it's good! The last book I attempted was The Fountainhead, and I suppose I must have figured out the main points and message of it about half-way through. And really, what's the point of finishing it?

I've taken to writing fan-fiction. It's embarrassing, so I won't be publishing it (at least, not here). But yeah, I can't even complete a chapter, and it makes me feel really guilty about it. Not that anyone will be reading it, or anything. But it's the principle of the thing. What's really funny is that I'll think ahead about the eventual plot points I want to touch on, and end up writing little excerpts of Plot Line Yet To Be. Of course, with the intention of integrating it. If I make it that far. Likely I won't.

And well, there's the scores and scores of uncompleted drawings in my scraps that I may or may not ever return to.  There's my Pathfinder campaign too. My website. My blogs.

And then there's Real Life itself. I've got my degree, but what in hell am I doing with it? I'll get all excited about what I can do with it, but never really enough to do important things like, I dunno, get my resume together and contact employment agencies and whatnot. And there's that slight issue of massive debt that will eventually need to be paid off... yeah, that's kinda scary. But scary just doesn't motivate me anymore.

It feels like my life is full of friction. Resistance. From somewhere, towards any kind of forward movement whatsoever. I can get rolling for short periods, and feel really motivated and driven, but I just lose steam along the way. Perhaps part of me expects some sort of instant gratification and is getting tired of waiting for things to finally fucking pay off.

Which, of course, makes sense. I'm coming up on 30 soon. I've spent most of my life in school, in some way, shape, form, or fashion. And I've yet to have anything particularly fulfilling or tangible to get from it. 12 years of grade school, 4 years undergrad, 5 years in medical school (2 half years, plus 3, makes five, total sense). 21 years? And counting, if I get my damned residency. So plus 3, at least. Assuming I don't go for a fellowship. 24 years+ until I can finally fucking start practicing? Well, damn.

And for all this fucking self-awareness, I can't seem to actually change any of it. Sigh.

Comments


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:iconaodemir:
aodemir Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013
Hey, thanks :)
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
Thanks for the fave! :iconbowplz:
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:iconnull-entity:
Null-Entity Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ThankU for faving ^^
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Hidden by Owner
:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sigh. I hate it when people try to drag me too far into their drama. I hope you don't mind if I hide this comment on my public profile? Notes are more appropriate.
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:icondruid69:
druid69 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
I'm leaving your last comment with the links in my message links. I love WOC and there is no way I can fathom that scenario all that quickly. Too much to absorb all at once. :) Thanks!!
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:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Good to know I sparked an interest. But the scenario dates back to the TSR days and was never fully ported to WOC. Not to say there aren't fan projects attempting to bring it back...
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:iconmateslaurentiu:
MatesLaurentiu Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for faving Goza and for taking the time to comment. :)
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:iconelixia-dragmire:
Elixia-Dragmire Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the watch!
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